How to Support Yourself - Diet Talk, Summer and the Holidays
Can you believe summer and Christmas are both next month? I find that this time of year can be an overwhelming period for many of us with messages popping up about 'bikini bodies', ‘summer bodies’, detoxes and cleanses. Not to mention lots of eating and drinking events paired with endless chatter about overindulging during the holidays, how ‘sinful’ food is and New Years diets.
Instead of letting yourself get swept up in all of this, I want to share four simple tips for summer and the holiday season...because you deserve to be able to enjoy yourself and your life, especially at this time of year!
1. Shut out the diet talk
Diet talk seems to be just about everywhere these days - on Instagram and Facebook, from your colleague at work or auntie at family dinner, in tv shows and movies, the lady on the bus, and so on. But it can be helpful to remind yourself that even though these messages are out there, they aren't true and they aren't about you...I repeat, they are NOT true and they are NOT about you! Here are just some of the false messages that I can think of - foods are 'good' and 'bad'; you should eat all the 'naughty' foods over Christmas and then completely abstain from anything but salads and smoothies in the new year; you need to be a certain size or weight in order to have a 'bikini body'...ahh it's exhausting just thinking about them all! Here are some extra tips that come under this heading:
One of my key tips is to reframe these messages. For example - food has no moral value and there are no 'good' or 'bad' foods (and you aren't good or bad for the foods you eat either...unless you potentially stole said food!); you are allowed to eatanytypes of food anytime that you wish; if you have a body then you have a bikini body...irrespective or size or shape!
Another tip is to imagine a bubble around you, with you on the inside and diet talk on the outside. Imagine all of the diet talk hitting the bubble and bouncing right off...it can't get to you and you're safe on the inside! Along with turning away from diet talk, you can also turn towards more feel good messaging by surrounding yourself with positive influences (you might even like to imagine it as a 'feel good bubble'). Some examples include body inclusive Instagram pages and podcasts, music that makes you feel really good, quotes and affirmations.
A final tip here is to have a conversation with family and friends about not commenting on food and physical appearance when they're around you. A simple "I'm trying to focus on things other than food and bodies at the moment, can we talk about something else" or simply changing the subject can often help. If that doesn't work, you can always find a reason to leave ("gotta pee" is a great excuse) or distract yourself with something else instead (like funny dog videos).
2. Did you know that you DON'T need to detox?
Despite what the media may have you believe, you don't need to do a juice cleanse or 7 day fast in order to detox. In fact, you have a liver and kidneys for that! That's right, you have your very own inbuilt detox system that works to process and detoxify various substances. Doing a 'detox' (whether that be a juice cleanse, fasting, drinking lemon water or any other number of detoxes that are out there) won't result in miraculous weight loss, a 'clean' body and insane energy. Instead, it'll most likely deprive you of key nutrients and energy, have you yearning for foods that you 'can't' eat on said detox...and quite frankly make you feel like crap. Doing a detox is also likely to lead to disordered eating, anxiety, stress, overwhelm and other health issues like constipation and hormonal imbalances. And in case you didn't catch it the first time...you don't need to detox!
3. Embrace self care and self compassion
It's okay to acknowledge that this time of year can be difficult. You're not alone - lots of people struggle with issues around food and body image, especially at this time of year. If this is the case for you, allow yourself to sit with it and know that it will pass...step by step, little by little. With all of the diet talk, present buying, running errands, preparing for family and friends, and more, it’s easy to forget how important it is that we take care of ourselves as well as our loved ones. Make sure you do something daily or weekly to nourish yourself – whether that’s 10 minutes quiet time to read a book, going for an evening stroll, bopping about to your favourite music, saying no to a social event, or whatever floats your boat! Schedule this time into your calendar like you would any other appointment (and don't cancel it!). I really love the concept of building a 'self care toolkit' (it could even be your very own Christmas present to yourself) - here's a blog on how to make your own.
4. Explore your relationship with food
Instead of thinking about how to 'eat healthy' this Christmas or how to lose weight in the New Year, how about we focus on our relationships with food (and our bodies) instead? I'm a firm believer that your relationship with food is far more important than any food you actually eat, and that working on this is absolutely foundational to feeling happy in yourself and your body. There are many ways that you can begin to explore your relationship with food, some questions to help you start thinking about it are:
How old were you when you went on your first diet? Why did you? What was your experience like? And what have your experiences with dieting been like since?
What 'rules' do you have around food? Thoughts like 'I should eat this' or 'I can't eat that' are key indicators of food rules
Do you count calories, restrict how much or how often you eat, worry about foods being 'good' or 'bad' for you, over exercise to compensate for how much you ate, feel uncontrollable or compulsive around food? These are all signs that you could benefit from working on your relationship with food.
These are all great questions to help you starting thinking about how you relate to food, but to properly explore this, I'd highly recommend doing it with the help of a qualified practitioner. If this is the case, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.
A final take home message - you deserve to enjoy this time of year, you are worthy. Take time to enjoy yourself. It can be easy to get caught up in diet culture and feel the need to impose restrictions on yourself, especially during the holiday season. Restrictions and limitations are unrealistic, unmaintainable and honestly unenjoyable! Give yourself permission to enjoy the festive season and all that it entails. Instead of focusing all of your energy on controlling food and your body, focus on enjoying yourself and spending time with family and friends. These are just a few tips to support you during the summer and festive holidays. If it seems hard...I see you, I get you and I know you can do this. If you'd like more support, especially more tailored advice, please reach out to me. I offer free 15 minute sessions so that we can chat more. Simply reply to this email to get in touch xx
